Dear Matilda- I’m Tuning into a New Frequency

Dear Matilda,

How are you?

Can you believe, today is my daughter's birthday? 14 trips around the sun and my, what an incredible person she is. She fully embodies her own light and joy, and grabs life by the horns and says 'Yes'. She is an inspiration without knowing it.

Yesterday, during one of our chats, she opened up and shared she had had an existential experience. Lately she has been questioning reality, and while sat in her room getting ready for bed, she had an out-of-body experience. She became aware of the observer. This can be unsettling for most of us, especially when we are not aiming for it, yet I feel incredibly grateful I am in a place to ground her. As you know, I have been through this several times. Rather than dismissing what she experienced, I was able to guide her through and I feel so grateful for that. I am witnessing not only my generation, but pockets of humanity becoming increasingly aware of their environment. I am in utmost awe of those standing up and expressing their true selves, which in turn gives me the courage to turn up in my truth. Hopefully this will lead to my daughter doing the same.

Over the past two weeks I have felt the ground beneath me to be so unsettling. Leaving financial security through a job and embarking on a journey where I get to live from my heart space and solar plexus, rather than the conditioning of the mind, meant everything had to fall apart. I wasn’t truly expecting it. I've often read this and it's only now I am understanding its true meaning. I always pictured it as my outside world literally falling apart. Becoming homeless, death, financial struggles. You know — literally falling apart. These are all possible and are my lived experiences of the past. Here’s what I learnt though: By clinging onto the past, I then fold these into future realities. That was the pattern I had seen repeated over the past 30 years. My mind was flooded with negativity, fear and panic. Naturally, this then created my reality. This time, it is different. This time, the script has changed. Oh Matilda, it’s exhilarating.

As you know, over the past 18 months I have worked relentlessly to challenge my own thinking. My own method of creation. I have followed every thought I have had to find its root cause and the answers changed my life. Over time I became increasingly aware of the world around me and slowly withdrew my energy from anything negative. Anything that in the very slightest brought me down. We've all heard the saying 'it's bringing you down', but I didn't understand it until a year ago. We are, proven every time over, energy. Just as light, sound and heat are energy, so is everything in existence. EVERYTHING. Every item we touch. Every feeling and emotion we experience. Every thought we entertain is energy. It is a frequency. It is a radio transmitter, and every single existence is a lighthouse. We are a force of energy. Our aura. Our essence. Our everything. The mind, spirit, soul and body. All give off energy.

As soon as I understood this, I started to examine my own energy field. Examine the energy I am giving off. We've both felt this. We can feel someone's energy when they are switched on. Happy. Anxious. Sad. We feel it because our energy field interacts with theirs. We all have this ability within us. I started to tune in and learn to listen. Oh my, I was shocked at what I found. My body hurt. It was so heavy from carrying past trauma. My mind played a constant loop of negativity. I loathed myself and acted from a place of self-doubt. I was irritable, sad, stuck. I noticed the world around me and how it echoed this back. Landscape in disrepair. Other people's negativity and self-doubt. A broken Britain on steroids stared back at me. As soon as I could identify the inner world and outer world, I began to change.

I started with thinking positively. I started eating foods that gave me energy — fruit, vegetables and trauma-free products. I traced the route of everywhere I spent my energy. When everything is energy, I began asking what energy I was creating in the world. Buying chicken in the supermarket meant I was supporting cruelty. Buying clothes from certain outlets meant I was supporting forced labour and the destruction of the planet. Not looking after my body and requiring a GP meant I was supporting a whole ecosystem that exists to the pure detriment of humanity. Aware of what I didn't want to see in the world, I asked questions not afforded to most women before me. What do I want? Who am I? What change do I want to see in the world? When I realised I had control over my energy field, I started to treat it more carefully. I left jobs, people and places that didn't align with who I was becoming. Levelling up our frequency is very real, and witnessing the rise is like witnessing magic unfold in front of us.

It is not the easiest route. I find myself here, again, and I have no doubt it will continue to happen. Just as nature reminds us, we live in a rhythm. A cycle. Moving with waves. We are living in a frequency. Time is not linear, it's a wave. As all frequencies are. We can change the wave at any point by choosing a new frequency. Change the dial on the radio and tune into something else. Today, of all days, I stand at the threshold of a new frequency. My hand trembles over the dial as I wonder if I will like what I tune into next. Then a voice says: 'You get to choose.' All I have to do is decide to tune into something new and believe I will love it. I can't guess it — it's new. It's not created yet. It is created at the moment I tune in. So why do I hesitate? The hard truth: Because where I am, although not where I want to be, is comfortable. Why have I gone through this journey, to pull on past experiences I have been trying to get away from?

Oh Matilda, two days ago I walked to the nearby stretch of river where there is the mightiest willow tree straddled into the riverbank. Over the decades she's taken many hits. Fallen branches now have roots and allow her to swing out over the top of the water, creating this natural bench. She is the perfect shape for nestling into and receiving the most glorious hug you could ever have from a tree. I love her and I enjoy every moment with her. When you visit I will take you to visit her and you will agree, she is marvelous. On Sunday I was dipping my toes in the cold river water and finally understood where I was. Free. Completely and utterly free. I could breathe to the full capacity of my lungs. My shoulders didn't ache from stress or trauma. In fact, my body felt the lightest it had in years. I had no worries, no burdens and no responsibilities. Completely and utterly free. Can you believe, after all this time I made it? I can barely believe it myself.

I have healed as much as I possibly can. I would even go as far as saying I am healed. Love floods me, not from outside but from within. My inner self feels clean and I am seeing my true self with more and more clarity. My true self understands who she is and why she is here. She understands and knows the way forward. She knows because she is there. My true self — the one I came to earth to be — already knows the way. By surrendering to her, to the frequency, to the trust and knowing that what is meant for me is on the other side of that radio wave, the world opens up. An infinite number of possibilities. All my dreams can come true. Everything I have ever dreamt of is one step away. My dreams are not found in the comfortable landscape I created to keep me safe.

It's OK to look back. It's OK to grieve what was. It's OK to be nervous. But we must learn to know when nervousness is excitement in disguise. I’m learning.

The ground beneath me has felt unstable. It's felt as if my energy field has been spinning quickly, reorienting itself, and now it is slowing down and offering two paths — stay where I am, choose comfort in the old programmes and draw from past experiences, continuing the loop of patterns — or make new ones. I have the tools. I have the knowledge. I've done my apprenticeship. Now it's time for me to step out of the comfort zone. Step away from the script of survival and truly learn who I am.

So, in order to help me find the courage to tune into something new, to walk through the door, to stabilise my energy field to a new frequency, here is a reminder of my dreams.

I dream of sovereignty of the self. For me and for everyone. To have full autonomy over their lives.

I dream of the world living in complete harmony. Mankind and nature in balance.

I dream of all women living in their divine feminine energy.

I dream of all men living in their divine masculine energy.

I dream we are connected and live with the flow of life.

I dream of the utter abundance around us.

I dream of living with purpose.

I dream of freedom.

I dream of love.

So, today, on my daughter's 14th birthday, I am tuning into a new frequency. I am honouring how free I am and leaving the old programmes behind. Leaving the creation of fear and starving it of my energy. I am choosing joy, happiness, energy and sovereignty for the rest of our lives and for the generations that come after us. The new earth is here. I just need to tune into its frequency. I’m stepping forward first and leading the way for her. It may not be the birthday present she expects, or even knows about, but I believe it to be the greatest gift I can give her at this time. To step into the unknown and welcome in the new frequency.

I love you,

Ophelia